IC posting, OOG

Warsloth · Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:14 am Post subject: IC posting, OOG

I recently posted my first story in a long time, mainly because I haven't been playing.

I still enjoy writing when I get the urge, and have the time.

The Story is, Whar: Beyond the Rim

I know the first post is pretty long, but I had a while to work on it.

If any of you get a chance to read it, I would really appreciate any feedback you could give me. Just post it here.

The main purpose of the feedback is to help me learn, adapt my writing skills and techniques. I have been giving serious thought to going back to school lately for art and or writing.

I have a plan for this story, and it will take a while for it to fully unfold. Just bear with me, and I hope you enjoy it.

(just wanted to add, I want to hear any and all criticism you may have good and bad!)
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"anyone up for RP?"

Iago · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 2:52 am Post subject:

My only suggestion is to write in 3rd person, if possible. The first person POV is much harder for readers to engross themselves in, because it forces them into a single, omnisicient or not, mindset, which they are not readily comfortable with.

For short stories, there isn't enough time for the reader to become accustomed to the character, so 3rd person would be more effective for your storytelling.
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''Don't be mad at me because you just fell for the old Wookiee prisoner gag.'' -Sawyer - Lost

Warsloth · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 4:12 am Post subject:

Thanks for commenting, I have been holding my breath on this one!

I decided to do this one first person, because I haven't had a chance to really do that any other time.

This is his story, and unfortunately it's too late to change this time.

There is quite a bit more to come... And the leak thread has something to do with it. I can't say where this ends, because it will ruin the story. I have a couple different chapters (the first post is the first chapter, which I forgot to label) in the works. I have a decision to make before I release them though, so it may take a little while.

I think you are right about 1st vs. 3rd person, in retrospect I think that it might have been better in 3rd person. But then again, I wanted this to be this way. Anyone who knows Whar from the game might find a look from his perspective insightful, or interesting. Anyone who doesn't know Whar will get to know him and how he works inside without other hang-ups...

Too late to turn back on that now anyway. smile

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"anyone up for RP?"

Iago · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 4:16 am Post subject:

Warsloth · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:07 am Post subject:

Dew · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:14 am Post subject:

I rather enjoyed it, and I thought you did a good job with the "first person POV" writing. Keep em coming!
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Warsloth · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:40 am Post subject:

Thanks!

I enjoyed writing it so far.

I haven't had a reason to write, but this story idea popped in my head, and I just had to see it through.
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"anyone up for RP?"

xyryn · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject:

I had no trouble with the first person viewpoint. I did get caught up with the character. I also had a bit of sympathy for the droid which was left behind.

The only thing that stopped me, for just a moment or two, was the crab creatures. I wasn't sure at first if they were mechanical or biologic.

I am very interested in what our protagonist finds.
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"It is. Deal with it."

Warsloth · Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:18 am Post subject:

I'm still working out some details, I won't make you wait too much longer.

Thanks for telling me about the crab confusion. I have trouble describing things. I either think I have included too much detail (rambling) or not enough.
In this fiction it could be either one, so I understand your point.

Going back to POV, It's just someone telling you the story. I don't see it differently in my minds eye. But it's now something I consider constantly.
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"anyone up for RP?"

Warsloth · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject:

Next chapter is up.

I wrote some of it while I was fighting the Flu, and I didn't re-read it. So I am sorry if it doesn't all make sense.
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"anyone up for RP?"

xyryn · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:53 pm Post subject:

It made sense.

I've found that I have to redo all the paragraphing when I paste a story into the message boxes. Once I start reading, I don't notice things like paragraphing unless there is a major thought change in the middle of a bunch of words. I enjoyed the story.
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"It is. Deal with it."

Warsloth · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 7:40 pm Post subject:

Thanks for keeping me in check KS... I lost my head this week.
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"anyone up for RP?"